Orphans Project #4 – History: Folktales to Charles Dickens

Thanks, again to Tom (RusticChivalry1985) for this research.

Musings about coffee and health

A few days ago I explained to my husband “I have a dent” as I poked my neck. It really is the simple things that amuse me so. I’ve been working out lately so a dent is simply exciting. Previously I’ve been known to become excited over having “a muscle.” Yes, I know one muscle does not do much for a person. It’s all so exciting; my physical aptitude wasn’t great in childhood and worsened when I became sick. I did loose some weight in high school, but that may have been because I’d forget to eat. Recently I have neglected physical activity, not something that someone with a family history of heart disease should do. So as my husband started snoring I became the exercise dictator. This title is added to my existing title of food czar. Both crusades have caused a bad addiction, one that my mom wouldn’t like very much since the American Heart Association Cookbook was our bible. I like, no love, coffee, it provides that hyperactivity that makes me a wonderful annoyance. But coffee is bad, it disturbs sleep and makes your heart race. Bad news for someone who is worried about heart disease. The problem really is that the coffee makes it too easy to surpass my target heart rate. It also makes sleep hard so the workout the next day is not so easy. Today I’m detoxing, I hope to not be so coffee dependent by Monday.
So what does this have to do with being an orphan? Vaguely related, but important none-the-less, health. Both of my parents died of health problems. Living past 50 somewhat consumes me.

Orphans Project #3 – History: Ancient to Renaissance

Another installation in the series by YouTube user RusticChivalry1985.

Out of my past rambling

I recently reconnected with my best friend from high school.  I doubt that we’ll ever be close again, being 3 states apart.  Before I started talking to her I asked another old friend about her mom’s death.  I feel really bad because I was not there for her. I realize that I cannot feel too bad – I’m not the only person in this world who understands the loss of a parent and we did grow apart.  What I have discovered is that I never really let my friends in.  I guess I never talked about my parents and I don’t think they ever asked.  What is really sad is that I didn’t expect them to understand, I didn’t ask them to try to understand.  So when I left to come home and deal with everything, why did I expect them to understand the pain if I had never let them in?  I spent all my time complaining about my aunt.  So in the end I and none of my friends understood.  They all still had their parents – of course.  Now this friend gets it, but I think it’s just too hard.  I’m a reminder of a time when she had both of her parents.

Siblings

A few months ago we were at a friend’s for a picnic.  I love going there because it’s a far and there are very few people around.  The sky always seems more blue in the country.  It reminds me of the beauty of the home I lost, and actually not far from it.   I love going to see these friends because they are the closest thing I have to family.  When I return home they were to people that ended up doing the most.  A majority of my other friends had disappeared or moved on to start college elsewhere.  My friend would hang out with me and keep me company.  She even had her family take me in at Christmas.  The dorms had become my permanent home and they close at Christmas.  At times I don’t understand why this family took me in and has made me one of their own when my own family couldn’t be so kind.

This picnic was great fun, there was swimming.  Nothing in the wold beats swimming, so I was the first one in the pool.  Soon everyone was around the pool and we laughed so hard as we played with the noodles.  Sometimes I wonder what it is like to have a sibling.  I occasionally ask my husband what it is like to have someone who is supposed to be like you.  He just laughs at me, but on occasion I get a glimpse at what it may be like.

I am very lucky to have such people in my life.  Without them, being an orphan would be unbearable.  You see an orphan has no where to go when the dorms close for Christmas or when something goes wrong at an apartment.  With this economic slump I had several friends asking their parents for money.  I can’t do that.

Art of Mourning

This is a great blog full of information about artifacts and protocol for mourning.  http://www.artofmourning.com/

Orphan Defined

Until 2 years ago I did not classify myself an orphan.  The term was not presented with the circumstances.  In fact it took 12 years for me to realize that was my identity.  My consciousness came with a film about my mother’s death.  I then wrote a paper about orphans and education where I discovered that America does not believe that orphans exist here.  The concept was proposed by a single person but it seemed supported by the lack of current information on the subject.  The most current data was from 30 to 40 years ago, which showed that orphans are more successful than their parented counterparts.  I believe that the orphans today  are taboo because we really want to believe that we take care of our children and if that’s the case then our orphans have homes with relatives.  We think that our life insurance and our savings will be enough if something happens.  What we are neglecting is that money or no money relatives or no relatives, an orphan is still a child who has lost both parents period.  Depending on the definition, a child could have lost one or both parents and be classified as such.  The latter is the more modern, while the former accounts that women were not a viable source of income and therefore not an accountable substitute for a father.

Random Musings About Free Willie

Ah, the things that I missed out on as a kid. Today we watched Free Willie.  Yes I guess I did not see it when it came out, kind of was under a rock.  Although, I think if I’d have had the choice it would have gone on my “too sad to watch” list.  This list is headed up by Bambi, which I have refused to see since childhood.  Now, I warned my husband that if Free Willie became too sad to continue he’d pay with pain.  He became my victim early on, Free Willie has orphans or abandoned children and I am becoming sappy.  It wasn’t bad, really, well it my have been for my victim’s bruised shoulder.

What I am finding about being an orphan is a close sense of nostalgia.  I feel that remembering is important to who I am.  I think that when these emotions are triggered by a film they can be traumatic, but that can be helpful.  In Free Willie the trauma was letting go of the whale.  While the whale’s separation is forced and temporary, he gets his family back, the child is not so lucky.  So while the parallels between the whale and the boy exist, only one gets what he wants and the kid, well he walks off with his new family and all is happily ever after.  That is in this fairy tale.

Jet Crash Survivor ‘Unaware He’s An Orphan’ – Sky Online News

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Libya-Plane-Crash-Sole-Survivor-Was-Ruben-Van-Assouw-And-Two-Britons-Confirmed-As-Victims/Article/201005215631092?lpos=UK_News_Second_Home_Page_Article_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15631092_Libya_Plane_Crash:_Sole_Survivor_Was_Ruben_Van_Assouw_And_Two_Britons_Confirmed_As_Victims

Repost From Facebook

This was posted to Facebook by a friend: “Did you know that in Ohio there are more than 3,000 children that are available for adoption? I think that our more than 14,000 churches should get involved in finding these children permanent loving homes. If you would like to adopt, get your church involved or look up the number of children up for adoption in a different state please follow the link below http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/Default.aspx“